Here I am with a fabulous new blog that I fully intended to keep up with, and not five posts in I leave a month-long gap between entries. /sigh Well, I suppose I do have a good excuse. Several, actually.
Toward the end of August (very close to the short story deadline, I might add) we took a much needed vacation to California. We took our son to Sea World and hung out at the beach. It was perfect – but I got no writing done. When we got back, I dropped everything else and put all of my focus into that story. The end of September 1st was my deadline, and I had to stay up until the wee hours of the morning on September 2nd to finish my synopsis and get it sent. I finished it, though technically it was late. I am grateful to Dreamspinner Press for accepting it for consideration anyway – a lovely bunch of people working there, by the way. They’re so friendly and helpful.
Self doubt buried itself deep in my heart though; I felt my story was rushed and that because I procrastinated they wouldn’t choose it for publication. All I could do was bite my nails and wait.
In the meantime, my anxiety had risen to a ridiculous level. I’d been battling it for some time, but it hit a wicked peak and took over my life. It was the kind of anxiety that medication wouldn’t touch – dizziness, palpitations, the whole bit. My poor blog was the farthest thing from my mind, as was writing. Basically, it got to the point where I was just happy to be alive by the end of the day.
After a little bit of research and effort on my part (the docs and meds weren’t helping at this point), and a bit of experimentation with my diet, I discovered that I very well might be having a bad reaction to consuming tons and tons of aspartame. Diet soda. Everything I drank – Coke, Pepsi, Red Bull, you name it – was all diet. I switched back to regular soda (still not great, I know, but it’s like pulling teeth trying to quit caffeine) and felt better.
My suspicions were confirmed a couple of weeks later when I chugged half a Diet Dr. Pepper because there was no other caffeine in the house. My mood went haywire. No joke.
So anyway, I fixed that little issue and am back to writing and the blog.
Oh yeah, and my story was accepted for publication. :) Snow Angel will be available on December 1st, 2011 as part of Dreamspinner Press’ holiday Advent Calendar, I’ll be Home for Christmas. It will also be available as a stand alone story.
How’s that for a boost in confidence?